Most parents will tell you they have no time for romance in their lives now that they have children. However, that shouldn’t be a reason for you to stop investing in your relationship!
I firmly believe that, while your baby does need you, it is equally important to nurture your relationship. This is why I thought I’d help you celebrate Valentine’s Day when you have children.
Celebrating Your First Post-Baby Valentine’s Day
When you have a newborn in your life, you can’t think of anything else except your little one. You spend all her waking hours feeding her, cooing at her, changing her, and looking at her adoringly as she sleeps… when she sleeps.
The thing is, most parents of very young babies find that their little bundle of joy is not letting them sleep a lot. For a baby less than three months old, that is because her tiny little tummy can only hold enough nourishment for a few hours. She wakes up when she’s hungry, and cries so you can feed her.
How do you manage to find time for a romantic evening when your baby might wake up suddenly?
Plan Your Time
As it is, with a little baby, you do have periods of a couple of hours after you put her to bed after a feed when you can have some couple time. It just requires a bit of planning. The thing to remember is to be flexible with your plans, and not be too disappointed if you need to move things around a bit.
If you’re not the primary caregiver, taking a bit of time out on the special day, even if it’s just an hour or two, will make your spouse feel special and appreciated!
Redefine Romance
Movie romance is all well and good while you’re young and single, or even married and childless. However, once you have a baby, romance is no longer about extravagant gestures and spontaneous plans.
It can be something as simple as a clean bedroom, a tidy living room, or a meal without the baby’s stuff scattered everywhere. These things can often be more meaningful than a fancy meal or an exotic trip.
If you can help tidy the house without being asked, it will only take a few minutes of your time, but your partner will appreciate it greatly.
Looking for a romantic dinner on Valentine’s day? How about pulling out your fancy china and lighting some candles, even if you’re just getting a takeaway. (In fact, go right ahead and get a takeaway. Why waste the precious time you have in the kitchen? Although, cooking together can be a very romantic way to spend your time, as well! Whatever works for you.)
Help Your Partner Relax
Again, if you’re not the primary caregiver of your baby, just giving them some time to do ‘adult’ things, like going out for a coffee with friends, or maybe a nice, relaxing bath could be the best gift. You could even hire the services of a babysitter for a few hours, just so the two of you can spend some time together.
Give Them the Gift of Sleep
Want to make Valentine’s Day really special for your spouse? Let them sleep in while you take care of the baby in the morning! Lack of sleep can be debilitating, especially when it is over a long period of time. Give them the gift of sleep and watch them appreciate you even more!
Celebrating Valentine’s Day with Older Children
When your child is (or children are) older than a year, it’s still possible to have a nice romantic day, although you might have to involve them!
How? It’s quite easy!
Breakfast in Bed
There’s nothing better than realising that you don’t have to make breakfast for everyone in the morning. If your spouse is the one who normally feeds the family in the morning, how about letting them stay in bed while you and the children make breakfast?
Just make sure you clean up the kitchen afterwards, and your partner will love being pampered. Plus, it’s extra special when the kids make breakfast for you!
Enjoy a Family Day
Spending the day together as a family can be a great way to strengthen your relationship. If you can take the day off from work, it’s that naughty family time together that your family will remember for years. Plus, family days are fun! You can let your hair down, go shopping, eat junk food, and have fun without worrying about being proper.
Have Dinner Together
I understand that dinner with children is not exactly ‘romantic’ but it does make them feel a part of the special day… and let’s face it, they are very much a part of your marriage, aren’t they?
You can have a candle-lit dinner with the children (as long as you can keep the candles out of their reach!)
Have a Family Evening
After dinner, why not have a family evening where you spend quality time with your children? I’d recommend a board game, or watching a kids-friendly movie with everyone tucked in a blanket, and a bowl of popcorn! If the evening devolves into a popcorn fight, just roll with it! You can always deal with the mess tomorrow.
Further Reading
- Highlighting the Importance of Mental Health for New Parents
- Gift Ideas to Help Babies Sleep
- Testimonials
If sleep is a precious commodity in your home, why not gift yourself and your partner a session with a Baby Sleep the Night™ certified consultant? My gentle sleep training programme has helped thousands of couples and their children get the sleep they need. If you’re interested, get in touch for a 1 to 1 consultation! In the words of my clients, it will be ‘the best money you’ve spent’!